I am sorry guys for this long absence, I have been really careless and insecure with this blog work as I couldn't pay attention towards it. The different weddings and holidays came in my way, by still, I could carve out some time to write and blog, but anyways... it's alright, I accept my mistake.
I have been really stressed out and never ever looked back that how much I have done yet, but I look forward instead that how much I have to go. This feeling never held my hand through all of these years, but I have been heart broken, used, back-stabbed, with me knowing all this, the people ne'er kept from these.
Life played rules with me along with keeping me busy in other surroundings and things and kept me tangled in the wires of life so that I won't have time to separate myself out of them and then how would I care about the others and their habits? I think that was fair in a way, and unfair too. Fair for that it never made me feel those things that really don't mean anything in the world of goodness and justice, unfair for what that it really did was that it held me in it's problems while I was trying to look back and tears rolled down my eyes.
I wish if this life would end up one day with happiness, anti-problem and solved much. And I wouldn't go crazy in this problem-life frenzy. The people haven't seen my tears that often roll down while I am tensed, instead they note the smile that appears on my mouth and they say it beautifies me. Sometimes I feel that people see the smiling face and they compliment! Just about yesterday, my aunt was saying that while I was preparing something for my dad, her words melted me
'aap aik bohat achi beti ho, sabse achi' and that made me blush, but sometimes when I feel that it's not the right time - and I am also not perfect - I shall not do this - but I am doing it anyway - that's wrong - somehow that would be my mistake and blah blah blah. But! I wish if people would understand these tears that burst out and become and ocean, not even the smile would shine, but it would be worth better when they think, at least they would, and I wish that more than anything else. I wish this problematic life would end one day, someday.
